How[L] You Doin'?

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better.  Just when you thought I ran out of ideas.  Turns out my friend loves owls.  Turns out that I love baking.  Let's do some math.

Friend loves owls + I love baking + It's her birthday = 

I wish I was kidding. But for the first time in my life (okay, not really but I want this to be dramatic) I decided to decorate cupcakes.  Not bad for the first time, eh?  I think it's pretty good.  And like most things, and 80s movies, I got by with a little help from my friends.  They helped me accomplish these bad boys in less than an hour, so mad props yo.  Thanks a ton to those who helped me out.

Want to make these? Not sure how to create something only worthy for Poseidon (and maybe Dionysus, if he's really really nice to you)?  I guess I'll tell you.  But ONLY if you promise to make them beautiful and think of me the entire time.  Then again, why would you ever be thinking of something/someone else?  That's beyond my realm of understanding.  

"Wine for cupcakes, Eve? Seems like a fair trade to me...look into my eyes." -Dionysus

Here we go.

If you're planning on making owl cupcakes, you're going to need some cupcakes.  If that didn't occur to you, please go enroll in your nearest elementary school.  Please and thank you.  Make the cupcakes in whichever flavor you desire, my friend happened to love chocolate so that's what I made. Ya dig?

Once those puppies are made, whip up some vanilla buttercream frosting really fast.  Don't know how to make buttercream frosting? Shame on you.  Alas, I'm only here to teach.  Take some softened butter, mash it up, add confectioner's sugar and vanilla to taste. SHAZAM. Buttercream frosting.  Beware. If you use granulated sugar, you're going to have frosting that will make you bleed. Literally, it's going to be so gritty that it will shred your esophagus.  And I'm going to take a conservative guess and say that 99% of the world's population wants an esophagus that's intact.

Once everything is settled, the first thing you're going to want to do is grab some of those mini Oreos you're shoving in your mouth right now (I see you) and split them in half.  See the cookie with the filling left on it?  Can you see a little ol' eye?  I can.    

How about now? Yes?

Remember that frosting you just made? Ugh, did you eat it all? Again? Make some more. This time, put some in a small pastry bag.  Snip off the end, the very very end, so you have a little outlet for the frosting to be piped out of.  Squeeze some out and put M&Ms on the frosting.  

Do you see eyes now?  

How about now? If you don't, let me make it a little more clear.  I guess I'll put it on the frosted cupcake, just for you.

If you can't see eyes now, please go to your nearest ophthalmologist.  Now that the eyes are in place, next comes the nose.  And I considered taking the easy route and making them beakless, but I decided not to make all of these owls face the same fate as Michael Jackson.  So, instead of making them noseless, I found some Neccos and stomped the yard on them, just a little bit.  They happened to break into the perfect beak shapes.  You call it destiny, I call it dancin' skillz.

So I guess at this point, you could be done.  But what owl looks like this? Hopefully none, because that's kind of ugly.  So, take some of that black decorating gel you happen to have in your cupboard and make some little v's.  The idea is to look like little feather ruffles.  Observe:

A little cuter? I think so.  To top it off, get some slivered almonds and make little wings out of them.  Just put three or four on both sides of that little owl.  Prepare to turn into a six year old girl who just pet a puppy.  You'll squeal just like that.  I promise you.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

We even had fun with it and made a few evil ones.  Or tried.  The gel wasn't cooperating as much as we would have liked.  It just turned into a unibrow.

Caveman owl?

They were a huge hit, and you have to admit they're pretty damn cute.  The best part about them is that they're a lot of fun to decorate, and if you get a friend or two to help you out it goes by really fast.  I think my friend died just a little when she saw them, everyone at her birthday party thought they were too cute to eat.  Oh but trust me, they're not too cute to eat.  Because you should know by now that not only do I make things look nice (see photos above) but I make them taste delicious too.  So, if you have a friend that loves owls, you can't go wrong with these. 

 "This I promise youuuuuuuuuuuuu." -N*SYNC