A Painful Move In.

Well hello there!

How are you today?  What'd you think of the torrential downpour we got today?  Or the extreme wind?

Damn you, Irene.  Damn you.
[via ibtimes]

If only the weather was the least of my growing list of issues.  If only.

I moved in for realsies yesterday, and let me tell you - it was pure hell.  It wasn't because I live on the top floor and have to lug my carcass up every day.  No.

That's child's play.  Psh.
[via suncallmoonbright]

I don't even care about that anymore.  Move in was horrible because I couldn't do a damn thing to help anyone.  For the first time in a long time, I was helpless.  I couldn't lift anything without my sternum screaming in protest.  Not to mention the rainbow of bruises blossoming underneath my bellybutton.

Eve, what happened to you?! Tell me, please!


Well, if you insist.  But let me just establish the fact that I'm now convinced that I'm in Final Destination and I keep cheating death.

It's not just a movie.  It's real effing life.
[via hwhillis]

Well, on Friday night, me and two of my friends were driving to take me home after a long day of adventuring and riding unicorns.  We were about ten minutes away from my house, crossed through an intersection, and BAM.  A motorcycle t-boned us.  I wish this was a little anecdote I was making up to keep my blog posts nice and meaty, but alas, this is my life.

I almost died when I went rafting.  And now this.  Folks, if there's any truth to the phrase "third time's the charm," then this blog might not see an entire year.  Because I'll be dead.  Minor detail.

There's not much I can say, actually that's the extent that I can write as of now.  Insurance stuff is still processing and whatnot.  When everything's all said and done, I promise to write about what an automobile accident feels like first hand.  It'll be good too.

I pinky promise.
[via facebook]

But as of right now, know that all of us are alright.  We're all bruised.  My sternum hurts like a mofo and I have bruises where the seatbelt saved me.  Let me tell you, if it wasn't for that seatbelt, I'm not sure if I'd be alive.  Truth.  Learn from me, children.  Always wear one.

But because of the fact that I fell asleep at three in the morning and woke up to move all of my stuff in, you can imagine what kind of shape I was in.  I was in a lot of pain.  Tylenol was burning off faster than the recommended dosage would allow.  No, Eve, you cannot take the whole bottle in one day.

But WHY, Tylenol, WHY.

You don't work when you need to.  Shame on  you.
[via wikipedia]

So that's been my past few days in a nutshell.  In a fair amount of pain and unable to do anything.  It sucks, but it's my life.  So, if you know of anything decent on instant Netflix, please comment below.  I've already blown through Tangled and Toy Story 3 today.  Currently beginning to watch Season 3 of Hoarders.

Like I said, I'm very open to suggestions.  Please comment below.  I beg you.

Looking Back and Forward.

Welp, it's that time of year again.  Time to pack away and sort through the stuff you threw in your basement in May and move it back into your little ol' dorm room.

Yes, I moved my stuff in last Sunday.  It's a tad complicated, but I'm actually home this week.  I moved most of my stuff in on Sunday and I'm bringing my clothes this weekend.  My roommate's there so we packed a cargo van full of the entirety of our dorm and took it up there.

And when I say up, I MEAN UP.  People, Ithaca is a giant hill.  There is always an uphill.  And it just so happens that we're on the top floor of an elevator-less hall.  Huzzah.  It's a lot different than last year.  To truly illustrate this, I decided to take my extreme skillz in Paint to show you.

Observe.

You see, the circles indicate prime points on this map.  The first circle, conveniently labeled "1" in blue, shows where I lived last year.  I quiet little abode, the typical dorm room.  It was manageable.  We both grew to love the place, mostly because of the large kitchen.  The second, large circle, labeled "2", is where I will be spending most of my time.  You see, for some reason, all of my classes this year are in one damn building.  Obviously it's due to the fact that I'm taking all science lectures and labs.

Someone stab me...please.
[via cornerstorkbabygifts]

But here's where I want you to see why I've actually taken the time to create the masterpiece two images above us.  You see that third circle all the way at the top?  You see that white roof?  Well guess what, children.  That white is my ceiling.  And you see all those yellow lines?  That simply indicates when you have an uphill walk.

Woah Nelly.  I have to tell you though, the room is significantly nicer.  We have a little hallway, a cutesy arch and a pretty nice sized room.  So is it worth it?  We shall find out when I'm running to my 8:00am in the snow.  Oh the stories of winter to come.  One plus of having to walk at least 90 flights of stairs a day: Ithacalves.

ITHACALVES.  Everyone gets Ithacalves.  But mine are going to be RIPPED.  They will bring all other calf muslces to shame.  I'm planning on taking photos of my progress.  I'll keep you posted.

Me in two weeks.
[via massivecalves]

It wasn't until I made my bed that I realized how fast summer had gone by.  It seemed like it lasted forever, though.  Funny how time works like that.  It's slow and then you blink your eyes and SHAZAM! Sophomore year.  Wow.  I feel so old.

Reflecting upon my summer, it is definitely safe to say that there have been better ones.  Working full time sucks.  If you don't have to do it, don't.  If you work full time at a job you love, then by all means I congratulate you.  But I definitely decided that it was time to actually focus on myself.  And with most of my life taken up with answering phones and whatnot, I bit the bullet and joined a gym.

Between working and then promptly working out, there was little time for socialization.  So indirectly, I would say that I took this summer to isolate myself.  Barely seeing my friends wasn't very fun.  Not talking to any of my friends from college was pretty rough as well.  But it was all in the name of self-improvement, right?  I mean, I lost 12 pounds since June, so it wasn't all bad.

But at the same time, I can't help thinking of the things that could be, you know?

Daydreaming leads to dangerous thoughts.
[via tumblr]

I kept thinking of how much free time I would've had if I didn't have to work.  I was thinking of every other option that involved more fun, and in the end it made me really sad.  I wish that college wasn't so expensive so I didn't have to work full time to pay for the hefty bills that keep piling up.  I wish.  Despite everything I did this summer, I wish that I did it differently.  Unfortunately, you can't turn back time.  And unfortunately, you can't lower your college tuition bill.  So even if I could redo this summer, I wouldn't be able to.  Which saddens me.  I feel like emo bunny or something.

I understand you, Emo Bunny.  More than you ever know.
[via smosh]

There's no doubt that I improved myself this summer.  Very little improvement, but improvement nonetheless. But the whole "not being social thing" was rough.  I did it to myself though.  Alas.  I would probably rate Summer 2011 five out of nine beehives.

Enough with the one-lady pity party.  Let us talk about the year ahead, shall we?

Yes.  We shall.

This year will most likely be my toughest.  Mostly because I'm making it that way.  I already have a plan for Halloween (which is always nice).  I already bought the damn shoes for my future costume, so if the person who is going to be my partner bails, SHE WILL DIE.  And she knows it.

I'm not planning on telling you what the costume plan is.  But I shall give you hints along the way.  If you correctly guess it, I'll give you candy.  Or homemade chocolate-covered pretzels.

I mean, it's up to you.
[via nutsonline]

Slippery bastard.
[via facebook]

I sincerely hope that this semester leaves me with a tiny bit of sanity.  I haven't been thinking quite clear lately.  The stress is beginning to creep up.

Also, before I head out, I have a few other notes.

There will be very little posts about food for the next three or four months.  Upon discovering my dorm kitchen, the oven is the size of an Easy Bake.  Minimal baking will occur.

Picture to scale.
[via hasbro]

Also, I've been seriously thinking of a tattoo design for myself.

I think I'm going crazy and I'm having all of these thoughts out of nowhere.  Perhaps it's due to the fact that I've really only talked to Gary this week.  Hmmm.

The world may never know.
[via foodfitnessandfun]

Waterfalls and Chocolate.

So yesterday was my last day of working for the summer.  I'm shipping off the the old shewl house once more very soon.

PLEASE tell me you understood the Megamind reference.
[via moviecitynews]

Anywho, being the baker/culinary extraordinaire that I am, I felt the need to end my summer job on a high note.

And I can say with complete confidence that I achieved this goal.


Why?  Because I literally made some of the best cupcakes I have ever made.  And let me tell you, I've made a fair amount of cupcakes in my life.  So to even have the confidence of saying this, you need to know that they're good.

I made flourless chocolate cupcakes.  Now these in itself set people off because they're just so damn good.  BUT NO.

I had to push the envelope and go that extra mile.  I frosted those bad boys with peanut butter mousse frosting.

Sweet baby Jesus.

These cupcakes are completely gluten free and taste incredible.  I can't even stress this enough.  Ladies - if you're looking for a man to propose to you, then make these cupcakes.  Ladies - if you're looking for a lady to propose to you, then make these cupcakes.  Men - if you're looking for a lady to propose to you, then make these cupcakes.  Men - if you're looking for a man to propose to you, then make these cupcakes.  Because these will seal the deal.  Seal it with metaphorical superglue.

You know those desserts that you just NEED to drink, nay, CHUG lots of milk?  Well plan on having it ready by the gallonful.  You'll need it.

So the cupcake recipe is from here.  I just turned it into cupcakes.  The peanut butter was my own brainchild.  Mmm.

Heat up some chocolate and butter until they're melted into a chocolate wonder soup.

In a bowl.

 Melty melty melt melt.

Melty melty melt melt melt melt melt.

 Melty melty melty melty melty melt melt melt melt melt melt.

Melted! While everything's still hot, pour it on top of granulated sugar so the sugar dissolves.  Whisk it really fast.  Beat eggs in, one at a time.  By this time, the cake batter should look like something out of a sewage treatment plant.  I mean, it's going to be bubbly from vigorous whisking and brown from the chocolate.  Listen, it's already been a long day.  Just let it slide.

Toss in some vanilla for good extract and sift cocoa powder into the swampy mess.

Stir promptly.

Once that's all good then pop the batter into little muffin cups.  Preferably assorted colors.  Zoo animals are better.

Oh baby.

Place those little gems in the oven at 375 degrees until they're fully cooked.  To my surprise, the cupcakes actually rise a good amount.  It was unexpected because there is no leavening agent...except magic.  Obviously it was my magic that made them rise.

While the cake's in the oven, take this time to whip up your frosting.  Now I made WAY TOO MUCH.  At least half of it was left in the bowl afterwards.  So I'm going to cut my recipe in half.  This frosts about 2.5 dozen cuppy-cakes.

Take 1 cup of peanut butter and 1 brick of cream cheese and mix them together.  Please soften the cream cheese.  It will make your life a BILLION times easier.

I promise it tastes good despite.

Mix in 1 cup of powdered sugar (sifted) and 1 tbsp of vanilla. 

Now here's where it gets weird.  At this point, you basically have peanut butter pie filling.  So it's pretty damn delicious on it's own.  But add in 1 tub of Cool Whip, and this pie filling suddenly turns into a mousse-y dream cloud of peanut butter magic.

I wish I was kidding.  But out of nowhere, it because whipped.  And it wasn't my folding, because folding in ingredients does nothing.  It was the Cool Whip.

Cool Hwhip.
[via tumblr]

So yeah, stir in a tub of the stuff and prepare for what you're about to see.

So once it's thoroughly mixed, put it in a ghetto pastry bag and frost the cupcakes that should be cooling at this point.

Your kitchen should smell incredible.  You should feel so proud you made something worthy of the gods.

I don't even think the gods deserve these.  But I brought them to work on my last day.  People bit into them and I saw eyes roll into the backs of heads.  One of my coworkers proposed to me.  I heard a few moans.  It was actually ridiculous.  But I got the same reaction out of everyone - that those cupcakes were one of the best, if not the absolute best they've ever had.

And that made my heart feel all fuzzy.  I love it when people love to eat my food.  It makes me feel accomplished.  It makes me feel so happy.

It makes me a Giddy Kitty.
[via thepqnation]

Which brings me to the "waterfall" portion of this blog post.

Kids, let me tell you one of my dreams.  All my life, I wanted someone to send me an Edible Arrangement.  They're just awesome and they're pretty expensive, so I expected that it would be something my future spouse would get me for my birthday or something.

One of my dreams.
[via ediblearrangements]

One of my dreams came true.  And it's a small dream, but one nonetheless.  I can't begin to say why I started crying.  But I have a pretty good idea.

I think it's because I tell everyone I know at some point that I would love to get an Edible Arrangement.  EVERYONE.  I remember telling everyone at work, naturally.  I love to do things for people.  In fact, I go out of the way to make sure that everyone is happy.  Before myself.  I think of everyone before I become a thought.

So the fact that people listened to me, and cared enough to get me something that I've wanted for as long as I can remember was really touching.  It was more than fruit, this Edible Arrangement was.  It was the caring thought behind it.  It was showing me that, yes, people do think about you.

And let me tell you, it feels pretty effing great to know that people think about you.  So I guess that's why I cried.  It caught me completely off guard.  And of course, everyone whipped out their phones once I started crying.  There are at least five videos of me crying over an Edible Arrangement.

I'll never hear the end of this.  But I don't mind.  It just reminds me that I'm loved...at least by someone other than Gary.  He's got my back forever.  All in all, it was a pretty nice ending to my summer of working.  It's nice to leave for a while, but I made a lot of slammin' memories at that damn rental agency.

So to any coworkers that read this, thanks for not making my summer not suck too much.  You're pretty cool in my book.

Sleep Deprivation Leads to Scary Things.

The title says enough, people.

Dear God, I feel like I haven't slept at all this weekend. I can't stress this enough, but I'm a grandma deep down inside.  All I need to is learn how to knit.

Just give me some needles and let me at it.
[via notsoboringworld]

When you're working all the time, you get home and sleep is the first thing on your mind.  Is that just me...oh.  Wow.  Well, I can't stop thinking about sleep.  If I was a dwarf, I think we all know who I'd be.

Basically.
[via disney-clipart]

But there are reasons why I got the less-than-normal amount of sleep this weekend.  Kids, I actually did things.  Congratulate me, please.  I know, I know.  And being social involves me staying up past 9:00 pm.  It was worth it though.  Naturally, I made something to bring.

Guess what I made.

Guess.  Please?

Alright, I'll tell you.  But only because you asked.  I made Chicken Wing Dip.


Oh baby.  I could literally eat that stuff until the end of the earth.  It's so horrible for you, but sometimes you need to sacrifice your own well-being to eat delicious food.

This man does it on a daily basis.
[via googleimages]

With that being said, I ventured on my culinary quest.  I literally whipped this baby up, because I just got out of work and I had to be at my friend's house in an hour.  So I apologize about the picture quality.

Oh and before we get deep in this food business, I have an announcement.  Instant thought blogging.  I don't plan what I write, it just flows out like magic.  Yeah, that's right.

Back to my tangent.  So about a month ago, I decided that it was finally time to get a pair of Converse sneakers.  And with the amount of money I'm making this summer, obviously they needed to be custom built. Pardon me for trying to live a lavish lifestyle every now and then.  But I designed them and I am in love.  

Aren't they beautiful?  I did a rather simple design.  Purple on the outside, teal on the inside.  Matching teal stitching and a purple rubber line to go with the sidewall.  Magical.  

Oh I don't know if you noticed the bottom of the shoe right there, but I got my name on the shoe.  Mostly so when I throw then up to do drug deals in the streets, I can easily find the sneakers.  After all, the last thing I would want after a hard day of dishin' out the goods is to put on my kickass shoes and stroll on home.

I really like them.  They're a little bright, but WHATEVER.  I love them and that's all that matters.  

BACK TO THE STORY.

Chicken Wing Dip (chicck-in wee-nguh d-ee-puh): Synonyms include magic, perfection, divinity, proof of God's existence, artery clogger, etc.

Basically, this stuff is wonderful.  And I'm going to teach you ladies and gents how I make mine.  Now, this is really a privilege for me to give out this recipe.  But I'm doing it because five people read this, so I'm not very concerned.  

ALRIGHT.  Let's do this.

Boil some chicken up.  Trim off the fat before boiling, pop the chicken in the water and turn the heat on.  Add a good amount of poultry seasoning, salt and pepper to the chicken.  Also, pour a dash of white vinegar in there.  When the chicken is cooked, take it out and shred it.  Now, I know a ton of people cube their chicken.

Do you want to know why they cube it? It's because people that cube their chicken are lazy.  

LAZY. Trust me when I say that shredding the chicken is a MILLION times better.  Every bite is chicken.  

Bkaw! CHICKEN.  Mmm. Oh sporadic thoughts.  Cluck. Cluck. Cluck. 

So once the chicken is shredded, pop it in a bowl.

It already tastes incredible.

Here's where it gets a little cuckoo.  But NOT for Cocoa Puffs.  Depending on how many chicken breasts you have, my general rule is for every breast, you should use 1/3 of a brick of cream cheese.

Take whatever amount of cream cheese you deem necessary and cube it up.  And then we get a little weird.  Melt it in a pan.  Until the cream cheese is completely liquid.

Melty melty melt.

Once it's cream cheese liquid, stir it into the chicken until it's well coated.  It kinda looks gross at this point, so I'll save you an image. 

Next step is to take ranch dressing and hot sauce.  Mix an even ratio into a bowl and add salt and pepper.  Add more hot sauce to taste.  Pour it into the chicken and mix it in.

Mmm.  Here's where your arteries begin to close and your heart begins to stop.  But this is also the point in this process when your mouth begins to drool uncontrollably.  UNCONTROLLABLY.

Take some shredded sharp cheddar.  Take a handful of it and throw it in the mix.  A generous handful.  You should pretend you're Sultan Kosen {the man who happens to possess the world's largest hands}.  Do the same thing over again, only this time switch it up and use shredded mozzarella.

Stir the mass amount of cheese in and put it in a baking dish.  Take more cheese and cover the dip.  Mmm.  Cheese.

Cover it with foil and bake it until the cheese on top begins to melt.  Then take the foil off and broil that delicious dip until the cheese is bubbly and golden brown.  

Currently residing in my tummeh.

So I brought this perfect dish to my friend's house and it was promptly devoured.  We all spent the night laughing around a bonfire, telling stories about our childhoods and college.  I supervised the creation of a whirlpool and literally gorged myself on my dip, pizza, cookies, and everything else horrible.  But it's okay.  I also fell in love with an adorable puggle named Lucy.  

And my lovely friend Kim gave me some kickass henna.

[via kim's incredible mind]

But I was yawning at 9:00 at night.  And we were all there until about 1:00am.  Yeah.  Pure torture was what it was, folks.  Don't get me wrong, I had a great time, but I was beat.  So when I hit the floor to go to sleep, I was OUT.  I guess I petted my friend in the night.  Obviously I thought she was Gary.  Get at me.

So on Friday night, I would say that I got a solid five hours of sleep.  Compared to my usual nineteen, this put me off.  

And then yesterday afternoon, Gary's momma came over.  She's staying for the weekend and it's awesome.  You see, Gary and his mom (Star) are basically the same exact dog.  

They both jump up on the counter to steal food.  When they're together, they tag-team and share the profit.

They both demand to sleep under the blankets regardless of outside temperature.

They both eat ice cubes like they're going out of style.

And they both look incredibly alike.  If Gary was the same color as Star, I swear that he would just be a skinny version of her. 

Don't believe me?

Here's Gary:

And here's Star:

And here are both of them together:

And let me tell you, sleeping with both of those pups is a CHORE.  They're both bed hogs and they both want to sleep in the same damn spots.  We started off in my room with a queen bed.  I thought that would be fine.

THEY HAD OTHER PLANS.

They must've known there was a guest room downstairs with a king sized bed.  They effing worked together to make it so uncomfortable for me to sleep in my own bed that the only solution would be more mattress.

Those damn dogs got their wish.  We moved downstairs and they settled into the bed.  This mattress is significantly less comfortable than mine, so my back was in pain almost instantaneously.  Not to mention that is was quite muggy and there is no air conditioning in the guest room.  So I opened the windows and turned the fan on.

I should've known something was up when out of dead slumber, both of the dogs popped their heads up.

God damn.  The fan brought in the fresh air from outside.  But the air had an odd stench.  A SKUNK was around and you could tell that it had just sprayed.

Stinky bastards.
[via discovery]

The room filled with skunk smell.  I blacked out.  I wish that last sentence was true.  While I didn't black out, my olfactory nerves went nuts.  

After that fiasco calmed down, I turned off the lights and all effing hell broke loose.  We had an expanse of bed to choose from.  But those dogs couldn't decide where they wanted to sleep.  When they did, my body was contorted to fit around the dogs.  

I was all Cirque du Soleil.  Needless to say, sleep was nil last night.  Dear lord.

Me, from about midnight to 8am.
[via lesdamesflexibles]

So I've been all crazy sauce today.  This is what no sleep does to me.  It turns me into a lunatic.  So I think to conclude this post, I am going to clearly state that I am promptly going to sleep.  In my own bed.  With probably one dog.  Or none.  But I'm alright with that this time around.