Dreams Do Come True.

I dream almost every night.  About three weeks ago, during one of the last few nights in my college dorm for the year, I had a dream.

Martin would be proud.
[via Praise Cleveland]

I made brownies.  Brownies with fudge in the batter.  Brownies with solid milk chocolate in the middle.  Brownies with swirls of peanut butter.  And Nutella.  Brownies baked to perfection. 

Last night, this dream came true.

These glorious brownies are sinful.  They make your mouth water.  They make you crave an ice-cold glass of 2%.  

These brownies are going to make me look like this.
[via Smosh]

I have to stop thinking about them.  There are some chillin' in my fridge right now and all I want to do is pounce.  I want to pounce on these delicious morsels like a hungry lion wants to pounce on a gazelle.

Mind you, these brownies are not healthy for you, AT ALL.

Oh HELL yes.

Yeah, you've got some brownie mix ('cuz I'm lazy), 6 chocolate bars, creamy peanut butter and Nutella.  

Eve's Salivation Meter: Salivary glands producing same amount as usual.

So you mix the batter (and then I added a secret ingredient that ensures absolute deliciousness).  I can't tell you the secret or else I won't be coveted for these.  Without it though, they're still pretty damn delicious.

Cover the baking pan in foil and pour HALF of the batter into the pan.

Like so.

Next, unwrap 6 Hershey's milk chocolate bars and place them on the batter.  I hate this.  My kitchen was an inferno and my chocolate was melting upon contact of my hands.  Kill me.  I prevailed and it was magnificent.  My hands were covered in chocolate though. I didn't mind...I had me a lil' snack. Mmmm.

It's like a delicious candy boardwalk of happiness.

Eve's Salivation Meter: Salivary glands begin to feel some stress.  Swallowing rate is doubled from increase in saliva in mouth.

Here's where it gets funky.  Incredibly awesomely deliciously funky.  Get one of the biggest spoons in your house.  Dip it in a jar of peanut butter. Repeat 2 more times.  Put all of that peanutty goodness in a bowl AND MICROWAVE THAT SHIZ.  Microwave it until it's basically a liquid.  Liquid peanut butter is a temptress in its own.  Oh the perfection that is peanut butter!  Anywho, pour it all up on that chocolate and make sure that you've covered it completely.  It's okay to moan at this point.

Oh my god...

Eve's Salivation Meter: Mouth unable to keep everything in check.  Body starts to go into panic mode.  Slight drooling begins to compensate for inability to swallow the incredible amount of saliva produced.

Take another spoon of decent size.  Plunge it into the nearest jar of Nutella.  Avoid the natural urge to eat the entire spoonful.  Instead, put the Nutella in a bowl and repeat once more.  You should have about half the amount of Nutella as you did with the peanut butter.  MICROWAVE.  Marvel.  Do this until it's almost a liquid.  Drizzle that shizzle all nice and good on the peanut butter.  Artfully swirl it together until basically mixed.  Place a shield between yourself and the brownies to avoid getting drool in the batter.  Oh is that just me?  Whoops.

Please give me the strength to not eat all of this right now.

Eve's Salivation Meter: A steady stream of saliva is exiting the mouth.  Eve appears dazed and in a dream.  No words escape from the mouth.  She appears as if to be madly in love.

Guys...I can't even handle this right now.  FINAL STEP.  So remember how you only poured half of that luscious chocolatey brownie batter into the pan?  Take the rest of that and pour it on the Nutella.  Get all of that batter and mound it on top.  Take no prisoners.  Spread it until it's perfect and gaze at your masterpiece.  

My life is complete.

Bake your marvelous creation until the toothpick comes out slightly clean.  Remember that you've got solid milk chocolate that melts completely when heated to 350 degrees.  So go with your gut.

Eve's Salivation Meter: The world record for salivation has been set.  The equivalent of what Niagara Falls produces in two hours has emerged from her mouth since the Nutella was heated.  Her parents abandoned her and called her an abomination.  All hope of full recovery has been lost.

The wait time is excruciating.  These damn brownies made my house smell like a combination of puppy breath, chocolate, pure happiness, a lavender field and the hope that someday everyone in the United States will learn how to recycle.  Basically, my kitchen smelled like everything good in this world and it was one of the best moments of my life.  I closed my eyes and I felt like I was floating.

But with this amazing smell comes a dark side.

My stomach started roaring.  My mouth was salivating beyond anything I had ever experienced.  I kept opening the oven, impatiently waiting for my dream brownies to be finished.  The fetal position was assumed.

And 35ish minutes later, I was granted my wish.  I took them out of the oven to cool.  When the pan wasn't hot anymore, I flipped the brownies onto a cutting board.  They slid right out of the pan, because they had the foil lining.  Otherwise, with my luck that would've never happened.  NEVER.  So then you start peeling off the foil.

It was like Christmas.

The best part is cutting the brownies.  Once they're room temperature, cut them to your desired size.  The rehardened chocolate in the middle crunches beneath the weight of the sharp knife.  Mmm.  That's when I know that these brownies are going to make me gain ten pounds.  That's when I know that I've done good.

Cut them up and serve them to your friends.  Watch them eat and marvel at the looks you receive in return.  True love is what comes to mind.  Prepare to be worshipped, friends.

I love my inner conscious.

So folks, dreams do come true.  And if you ever have a dream about food, MAKE IT YOUR DUTY TO FOLLOW THROUGH. Because I did...and now I feel like I'm dreaming because these brownies are effing magical.