Oops I Did It Again.

My legs ache.  My biceps are rebelling right now.  My body doesn't want to type today.  But I don't care.  Because yesterday, I made a pie and I feel as if I need to share it's divine glory with you.  I think I have a serious knack for baking, because YET AGAIN this pie tasted sinful.  Sinfully DELICIOUS.  Dear God.

It was if heaven was watching me make this.  Only I'm not Asian.  And I wasn't baking in a church.
[via lylongfoto.com]

Also, I think I've become obsessed with peanut butter.  I mean, snacking on spoonfuls at a time is typical, but nowadays I can't stop thinking about it.  I put it in everything, y'all.  I layer it in brownies, I spread it on my toast in the morning and then promptly top it with bacon.  DELICIOUS.  Don't judge me.  You have to try peanut butter bacon toast.  For you vegetarian readers out there, I also slice up bananas and put it on my peanut butter toast and it tastes marvelous as well.  Only my parents call me Elvis...

The banana-peanut butter combo is made by the Gods, for the Gods.
[via pollsb]

I don't mind though.  Back to peanut butter.  Luscious, perfect peanut butter.  I made a pie dedicated to it.  I made a pie and covered it in chocolate.  I made a pie covered in chocolate and then I spread an entire layer of whipped cream on top.

Ideas like this should be illegal.

Because they are not, I created this perfect pie.  This pie made people moan today.  I wish I was kidding. It was actually a tad uncomfortable to hear while they put more in their mouth.  But I was secretly pleased...because I knew that once again, I did some good to this world.

But not to waistlines.  Poor, poor waistlines.

OKAY.

Here's the magnificent process I went through yesterday (and this morning).

First, whip up some cream (without sugar) until it looks like whipped cream.  Obviously.  I made the mistake of tending to my sister, forgetting about the sugarless whipped cream, sticking my pinky finger in there and taking a taste.  Never again.  Just plain whipped cream tastes like Grade A rubbish.  It's chalky and thick and you can just taste the fat globs...  I have learned my lesson.  I hope you never experience this.

You deceitful chalky horror, you.

So once you've whipped up the cream, put it in the fridge.  Then you're going to want to beat a brick o' cream cheese until it looks like a cloud, and add in a cup of peanut butter/heaven to the cloud.  Beat that in.  You should definitely start to droll at the possibilities at this point.  Seriously.

Add in 2 tablespoons of soft butter and a tablespoon of vanilla.  Beat it in.  Just beat it, beat it.  Beat it, beat it.

No one wants to be defeated.
[via msofficer]

Mix in a cup of powdered sugar until it's perfect and delicious and wonderful and the heavens sing to you.  It happened for me.  If the heavens don't sing to you, then you obviously haven't done something right.  Mix it until it's smooth.

It should also kinda look like baby poo.  It's okay though.

Once you've got that, open your fridge.  Now look back at me.  Back at your fridge.  Now back at me.  (Old Spice Man reference, anyone?)  Take out the whipped cream you made earlier and FOLD IT INTO THE PIE MIX.  Sweet baby Jesus.  This is where I lost it.  I just couldn't handle the deliciousness contained in this bowl.

YES. JUST YES.

Once you've sopped up the droll off the kitchen floor and you've regained your strength, marvel at your creation.  It was at this point where I poured it into the pre-made chocolate pie crust Mommycakes bought me.  Because making a chocolate crust is a pain in the tookus.  So I poured my heart and soul mixed with peanut butter into this crust and popped in the fridge.  Because while you don't have to bake this pie at all (fantastic), you have to let it set in the fridge for at least 3 hours (bummer).  I just put it in there overnight, it's not a big deal folks.

*salivates*

So after I put that in the fridge, I promptly go to sleep because I'm an old lady.

I woke up this morning, the birds were chirping, someone was playing a harp (or I was hallucinating), everything was great.  EXCEPT THAT I SLEPT IN AN EXTRA HALF HOUR.


RAPID-FIRE SHOWER.  Rapid-fire dress-slappage-on-body.  Rapid-fire throwage-of-cardigan-into-dryer-to-remove-wrinkles.  RAPID-FIRE GANACHE COOKING SESSION.  OH HELL YES.


In the midst of the morning craziness at my house, I made a ganache really fast.  Basically, get a small pot of water boiling and put a glass bowl on it.  When the water's boiling, set it to simmer.  Put a half-cup of heavy cream in the bowl and wait until it bubbles. While I was waiting for the bubbles, I quickly blowdried muh hair.  Mulitasker Award of the Day DEFINITELY goes to me, people.  After some bubblage went down, I threw in 3/4 cup of chocolate chips.

Yup.  That's right.

Just stir it until it's all melted and WALA!  Ganache.  Also, it should be noted that at this point, my contacts were in and I had partial makeup on.  I'm amazing, I know.

Cool off the ganache until it's room temp and pour enough onto the pie to cover the top.  Let it set for about another hour or two and you have a big-ass peanut butter cup.  Mostly peanut butter.

Then put some whipped cream on that bad boy and prepare to be a God.  Typical life.  At least for me that is.  Enjoy you hungry lion(ess) you.