Ree-dic-you-luss.

I think this has been one of the busiest weekends of my life.  An incredible, busy weekend.  I went to a kick-ass concert on Friday night and made something fit only for the Gods on Saturday.  You ready to hear about my weekend? Because after all, this blog IS about me.  

Yup.  Just went there.  And for the three or four people that actually read this, prepare to be amazed.

Friday

My day started off bright and early at 6 o'effing-clock in the morning.  I went to work and sacrificed my lunch break in order to leave early to fulfill my destiny.  Because on Friday, I went and saw Maroon 5 in concert.  

OH HELL YES.

[via asongdaybyday]

The weather was beautiful, we snagged a PRIME parking spot, and we arrived early.  And when you get to a concert early, that's when you get the awesome spots.  And the spot we ended up in was disgustingly amazing.  But when the opening act started, I started feeling nauseous.  Guys, I've never felt this horrible in my entire life.  I was sweating, but I was freezing.  I was shaking and felt like I was ten seconds from chundering and twenty seconds from passing out cold.  Come on.  I needed to move or else something bad was going to happen.

 I weighed my options: either stay, feel horrible and risk vomming all over the girl to my left, or leave and grab a bottle of water, knowing that I probably wouldn't ever have the chance to make eye contact with Adam Levine.  

I had to leave.  I had to get out of there or else something bad was really going to happen.  And yup, I lost my spot.  Two of my friends stayed in our spot during the entire concert while myself and another friend were significantly farther.  That definitely sucked.  But I understand why they did it, and I can only blame myself for feeling like crap.

I made the best of it though.  I danced like a fool, sang duets with the band (without them knowing) and made my other friend (who was seriously bumming out) smile.  

This was me.  All at once.
[via berkeleyside]

I have to say, if you ever get the chance to see Maroon 5 in concert, GO.  Seriously, they sound amazing and they put on an incredible show.  I would love to see them again.  I shall try.

On the way home, we grabbed some McDonald's.  Never again...

Saturday

I started my day off groggily by heading to the gym.  In my haze from catching only seven hours of sleep (don't judge me), I forgot my damn iPod.  Come on.  What the hell. I hate gym music.  I hate gym music like fathers of twelve year old girls hate Justin Bieber concerts.  That's some pretty strong aversion.  And the gym that I go to has horrific gym music.  It started off fine, but five miles into my bike ride, the bad stuff started up. And dear God that music was not workout worthy.  I listen to disgustingly prolific rap and rock music.  Stuff that gets your blood flowing, you know?  But I actually had to cut my workout twenty minutes short because I could not stand torturing my ears.  It's self abuse and I was having none of it.

But there was a positive point to my gym experience.  What was playing on the TV in front of me?  Some old school That's So Raven.  That's right.  It made my day.  And this episode was from the beginning of the show, you know, when the mother was actually in the picture and Cory was a 'lil porker.

Oh nostalgia.
[via buddytv]

After, family came and visited.  So naturally, I had to whip out all the stops.  I had to make something so divine, something so unfathomable that only the crazy ones would craft it.  Once upon a time, when I first got a stumbleupon, I found a recipe that made me salivate instantaneously.  It held everything a dessert lover could ever ask for.  Pie.  Cookies.  Ice cream.  Cake.  Frosting.  In one.  

I can't even think about them without drooling.  Profusely.  Like Niagara Falls up in here.  

So come with me, and let me tell you how you can create tangible perfection.  Come with me on this journey, friends, and never look back.

This is something that takes some time, but building it is amazing.  It's how I imagine how an artist feels when she's painting something and watches it come together.  Magical.

It's layered.  There are actually six layers.  It goes like this: pie crust, cookie dough, frosting, ice cream, cake, and frosting.  Oh and who could forget sprinkles?  No one.  It is an ice cream cake cookie pie.  

And nothing but happiness and rainbows come from this.

So if you want to ever make these, imma show ya how.  There are a ton of pictures, so if you are hungry I would advise you to stop reading this until you consume mass amounts of food.  

Step 1: Grease.  Take some soft butter and grease the living hell out of a muffin tin and a cookie sheet.  Do as I say.

Step 2: Pie crust.  Get a cookie cutter and make 'lil pie crust circles.  Once you've got twelve, pop them in the muffin tin and poke a few holes in ze bottom.  You know, for aeration and whatnot.

Salivation meter at a 1 out of 10.

Step 3: Cookie dough.  Take some sugar cookie dough and spoon some into each muffin cup.  Push it down, and if you have to use your hands, do what you gotta do.  I used my hands to push it down and I did just fine.   Once you've put them in the oven, put them in the oven and bake them until the crust begins to brown and the cookies are baked all the way.  After they're baked, take them out of the muffin tin and place them somewhere else so they can cool faster.

Salivation meter at 3 out of 10.

Sidenote - this is when the kitchen started smelling amazing.  My olfactory nerves were having a HAYDAY.  If you only knew.

Step 4: Cake.  So right after you put the stuff in the oven, you should take that time to put together the cake that will be on the finished product.  Naturally, red velvet cake was the first choice.  Because it's awesome.  And luckily, Wegman's had red velvet cake mix, which made my life a million times easier.  When you're making the cake, I like to sift the powder because it makes the cake lighter and it gets all of those stupid-ass lumps out of it.  

Not to mention the cool sifting pictures.

So once you've got your delicious batter together, spread some of it onto the greased cookie sheet I made you do during Step One.

You're going to have extra batter, I just made a separate cake out of it.  Once the cookie-pie muffin tin extravaganza is finished and it's out of the oven, bake the cake as directed on the box.

While that's in the oven, this would be the best time to make your frosting.  Obviously, the best frosting to complement the perfection of red velvet cake is cream cheese frosting.  Cream cheese frosting...how wonderful.  And this, folks is homemade.  With love and happiness and rainbows and everything else.

Salivation meter at a 5.5 out of 10.

Step 5: Cream cheese frosting.  Take a stick of unsalted butter and put it in a bowl.  Put a brick of cream cheese in that bowl and blanket them both with teaspoon of vanilla and 2 wonderful cups of powdered sugar. Oh dear God yes.  I effing love cream cheese frosting.  It tastes like cheesecake, or at least mine does...

Blend it until it's creamy and perfect.  You too should be salivating.  

Because I sure am.  6.45 out of 10.

Step 6: Layering.  So take the cake out of the oven when it's ready.  After that, take some of that frosting and put it on the cookie.  

Let the cake cool while you whip out that tub of ice cream that's sitting in the freezer.  Let is soften just ever so slightly and put it in a ziploc baggie.  I think that making ghetto pastry bags is once of my favorite things to do.  

Step 7: Ice cream.  Cut off the little corner and pipe some of the ice cream onto the frosting-cookie-pie.  It's going to melt a little, but it's alright.  It will refreeze in ze freezer and become perfection.  But for now, when ice cream soup begins to form, don't fret.

Step 8: Cake cutting.  Once the cake has cooled, you're going to want to cut out circles from the pan to fit onto the ice cream you just piped.  I found that a shot glass worked really well.  I just used it as a stencil and cut around it.

Salivation meter at 8 out of 10.

Once you've got the cake rounds cut, place one on each little ice cream covered pie-cookie.  Place it tenderly, as if placing a baby in its cradle.  Cherish what you have created thus far and appreciate that there is only more goodness to come.  Put those cake covered lovelies in the freezer until the ice cream is rehardened.    This will make your life ten times easier when it comes time to frost them.

FREEZE! FREEEEEZEEE!!!!!

Step 9: Frosting. Take another ziploc bag and put the cream cheese frosting you made into it.  Yet another ghetto pastry bag.  It's wonderful.

Snip off the corner and start piping the frosting on.  Pipe until your heart tells you to stop.  Or until you run out of frosting.  The second seems like what would happen first.  Is it just me?  I hope not.

Step 10: Sprinkles.  Once you've frosted each beautiful ice cream cake cookie pie, decorate it just ever so slightly.  I put red sprinkles to accentuate the cake.

They are beautiful.  Dare I say...perfect.

They beg to be eaten.  They cooed to me when I was sprinkling them.  "Eve, we're so cold from being in the freezer.  Put us in your mouth so we can warm up! It's the right thing to do.  Trust us, Eve.  Trust us!"  Oh delicious ice cream cake cookie pies, how I wish I could eat you all.  But I don't think anyone could eat an entire batch.  Mostly because they are incredibly rich.  Incredibly delicious.  Incredibly unbelievably magnificent.  Dear God.

Salivation meter at a 34151 out of 10.

 You can make these any way you want.  The possibilities are infinite.  But I highly recommend making these bad boys at least once in your life.  They are so damn delicious.

And just to tease you even more, I cut one in half so you can see the layers.

Salivation meter is at 45787514897543457 out of 10.

Beautiful.  Enjoy making them if you decide to.  They are most certainly worth the work.